places i go wrong

The processes i employ are often labourious ones, which is not an intentional thing, on reflection its something i do in an effort to feel closer to the work. The time i spend on individual pieces can be lengthy, when i speak to other students about their own work they are often shocked that i spend as much time as i do on individual pieces, i don't know whether this is because the time spend on a piece doesn't reflect on the finished article or whether it is due to the shock that i've wasted that much time on a piece of work that i will then never use again or that i will simply throw away. For me its about ownership if i do something which takes a short amount of time to complete then it genraly feels of no value to me, i want to put everything i have in to a piece and when i look at it i want to remember the sleepless nights and the hours or days i have spent getting something right that no one else will even notice i want it to be mine- and then i want to leave it for someone else to find. I don't really see why i do this i just know its a part it all somehow and it doesn't always work as i have planned- during the last brief i spent weeks gold leafing a found window frame, to get it perfect to cover every mm of the surface in the attempt to show it in a new light, and i was aware of all the connotations that surrounded what i was doing - but i didn't know where the impulse to do it had come from,rather than questioning or fully exploring why i was doing it i simply carried on. Once i had finished i didn't know what to do with it, i didn't what to really do anything with it so i just put it back where i found it- took some really awful documenting photographs and left it at that. i guess i told that story because i know what i did makes no sense and that is how i can be some times i'll just give up and leave an idea without fully exploring it- something which i cannot do during this brief- i need to fully realise my goals and to do this every piece i create also needs fully curating. With this in mind i will time table myself, it was pointed out to me that i work better when i have a deadline that must be realised so i feel the only way to do this is to give my self actual deadlines that i must work to, because this brief will be about not just creating work but as i said before also curating it. Finding those platforms in which i want to exhibit.